WHILE sitting in a library one afternoon, I watched as people walked in and out, their faces focused on books, phones or lost in thought.
They passed by the library counter without so much as a glance. There were no smiles, greetings or friendly nods, just silence.
I found myself thinking back to a time when these simple gestures – senyum, sapa and salam (3s) – were second nature.
A smile from a librarian, a polite “hello” from a passer-by or even a brief nod of acknowledgement used to make everyday interactions feel warm and familiar. But now, silence seems to have replaced these small acts of kindness.
It is not just in libraries. Walk into a store, an office or even a neighbourhood cafe and you may notice the same thing. People are present but the warmth of human connection feels increasingly absent.
Have we become too busy, too distracted or simply too indifferent? Why are we losing these basic courtesies that once made our social interactions more meaningful?
This did not happen overnight. Little by little, those small courtesies we once did without thinking have started to fade. Smiling or saying hello used to
feel natural but now people seem to hesitate, almost like being friendly is optional. Most of the time, we just walk past each other without a glance, lost in our own world.
A big part of this shift is probably technology. People are glued to their phones, scrolling endlessly, even when they are surrounded by real people.
In cafes, parks or waiting rooms, more faces are lit up by screens than by smiles. At home, families sit together but are mentally miles apart; each person lost in their digital space.
Then, there is stress. Life moves fast and everyone is trying to keep up. With work, responsibilities and endless to-do lists, who has time to smile at a stranger? It is not that people are rude – just exhausted.
Social norms have changed, too. We live in a time where personal space and independence are valued more than ever. Unlike past generations, where small talk and community bonds were stronger, many people today do not
feel obligated to acknowledge those around them.
However, these small gestures matter more than we realise. When we stop smiling and greeting each other, our communities start to feel colder. Workplaces feel less friendly. Public spaces feel lonelier.
A simple smile can change someone’s entire mood, even if just for a moment. Studies have shown that smiling, even when you do not feel like it, can actually boost your happiness.
Kindness is contagious. When one person smiles, it encourages others to do the same, but if nobody starts, the habit will slowly disappear.
The good news is that bringing back the 3s is easy. It does not take extra time or effort, just a little awareness.
– Make it a habit. Try smiling at three people today. A barista, a co-worker or someone you pass on the street.
– Lead the way. If you work in an office or school, start the habit of greeting people. Others will follow.
– Be present. Put your phone away when talking to someone. Real connections happen face-to-face.
– Teach children early. Parents and teachers can encourage children to greet and acknowledge people around them.
– Create friendly spaces. Workplaces, schools and public spaces can encourage a culture of warmth
and politeness.
In a world that often feels rushed and disconnected, these tiny gestures can make a big difference. Senyum, sapa and salam may be small but their impact is huge.
So, why not start today? Next time you pass by someone, flash them with a quick smile. Who knows, you may just make their day.
Syed Azman Syed Ismail
Postgraduate Student
Faculty of Education
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia
